What Should Athletes Say In Emails To College Coaches

One of the biggest mistakes athletes make in recruiting is assuming that a “professional sounding” email is automatically a good recruiting email.

It’s not.

In fact, many recruiting emails sound polished while still being extremely ineffective.

Recently, an athlete sent me an email they planned to send to college coaches and asked for feedback.

The interesting part?

They told me the email was written using AI.

And honestly, that explains a lot.

Because the email sounds impressive at first glance.

But once you actually understand how college coaches evaluate recruiting emails, you realize there are a lot of problems hiding underneath the surface.

So in this article, I want to break down the email and explain exactly what athletes should — and should not — say when emailing college coaches.

The Original Email

Before I show you the email, I want to mention something important: I changed the athlete's name, school names, coach names, contact information, and other identifying details for privacy reasons. The structure and content of the email remain the same.

Dear Coach Ramirez and Coach Bennett,

My name is Ethan "EJ" Morales, and I am a 2027 goalkeeper from Colorado currently playing for Summit FC in the MLS NEXT Academy Division and Mountain Ridge High School. I am reaching out because I am interested in learning more about Western Valley University and exploring the possibility of continuing my academic and athletic career in your program. I reached out previously but wanted to follow up in case my original email was missed. I remain very interested in learning more about your program.

I have experience competing in high-level matches through MLS NEXT Academy, UPSL Premier, Elite Academy League, and international tournaments such as The IberCup, Surf Cup International, and Nordic Cup, often competing against current collegiate players and other high-level opposition. As a goalkeeper, I pride myself on my shot-stopping ability, leadership, communication, composure under pressure, and ability to play out of the back. I enjoy organizing the defense and helping my team build from the goalkeeper position.

Academically, I currently carry a 3.5 GPA and am interested in pursuing studies in Business or Cybersecurity.

Below are links to several playlists featuring my highlights:

Shot-Stopping / Saves:
YouTube Playlist

Distribution / Playing with Feet:
YouTube Playlist

Veo Highlights:
Veo Playlist

Upcoming Events:
MLS NEXT Showcase (Phoenix, AZ) | EA Nationals (Orlando, FL) | Costa Del Sol Cup (Spain)

If you have an opportunity to review my highlights, I would appreciate your honest feedback. Based on what you see, do you feel I could be a fit for your program? I would also love to learn more about your recruiting process and whether you anticipate bringing in goalkeepers in the 2027 class.

Thank you for your time and consideration. If you would like to discuss my experience, goals, or interest in your program further, I would be happy to schedule a phone call at your convenience. I look forward to hearing from you.

Best regards,

Ethan "EJ" Morales

At first glance, many parents would probably think:

"Wow, that sounds really professional."

But here's the problem:

Recruiting emails are not judged based on how polished they sound.

They're judged based on whether they generate responses.

And this email has a lot of issues.

Mistake #1: CC'ing Multiple Coaches

The first mistake happens before the coach even opens the email.

The athlete CC'd multiple coaches on the same email.

That's a problem for two reasons.

Problem #1: Deliverability

Cold emails with multiple CCs are more likely to land in spam or promotions folders instead of the primary inbox.

That's a major issue in recruiting.

If the coach never sees the email, nothing else matters.

Problem #2: Nobody Knows Who Should Respond

This creates what I call the “old western saloon problem.”

Imagine three cowboys standing in a saloon pointing guns at each other.

Everyone is waiting for somebody else to make the first move.

That’s what happens when multiple coaches are CC’d.

Coach Ramirez thinks:

"Coach Bennett will probably respond."

Coach Bennett thinks:

"Coach Ramirez will probably respond."

Then nobody responds.

Every recruiting email should be sent to one individual coach.

Now, should athletes email multiple coaches on the same staff?

Absolutely.

But each coach should receive their own individual email.

Mistake #2: The Email Is Way Too Long

Before we even critique the content, we can already identify a major issue:

The email is too long.

There are two simple ways to determine whether a recruiting email is too long.

The 50-Word Rule

If your email is longer than 50 words, it should probably be shorter.

The Read-Out-Loud Rule

Pull out a stopwatch and read your email out loud.

If it takes more than 30 seconds to read, it’s too long.

Most athletes dramatically overestimate how much coaches want to read.

College coaches are busy.

The goal of the first email is not to tell your life story.

The goal is simply to create enough curiosity for the coach to watch the film and respond.

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Mistake #3: Redundant “Interest” Statements

In the first paragraph, the athlete says:

“I am reaching out because I am interested in learning more about Western Valley University and exploring the possibility of continuing my academic and athletic career in your program.”

This sounds polished.

But it’s basically meaningless.

Of course that’s why the athlete is reaching out.

Why else would they be emailing the coach?

That sentence adds length without adding value.

Then the athlete says:

“I reached out previously but wanted to follow up in case my original email was missed.”

Again, this sounds harmless.

But psychologically, it creates a negative frame.

Even if the coach simply missed the original email, the athlete is still subtly reminding the coach:

"Hey, you ignored me before."

You don’t want to frame the interaction that way.

Now, follow-ups are extremely important.

In fact, data shows athletes often get more responses from follow-ups than initial emails.

But this is not the way to position it.

Then the athlete says:

“I remain very interested in learning more about your program.”

Again — redundancy.

That’s already implied by the email itself.

Every unnecessary sentence makes the email weaker because it increases friction.

Mistake #4: Repeating Information the Coach Already Knows

The athlete writes:

“I have experience competing in high-level matches through MLS NEXT Academy…”

But earlier in the email, they already said they play MLS NEXT.

Most coaches already understand the level associated with MLS NEXT.

That entire section becomes repetitive.

A good recruiting email is efficient.

Every line should either:

• Create curiosity

• Establish credibility

• Drive action

If it doesn’t do one of those three things, it probably shouldn’t be there.

Mistake #5: Self-Evaluations

Then the athlete says:

“I pride myself on my shot-stopping ability, leadership, communication, composure under pressure…”

This is what we call a self-evaluation.

And self-evaluations are usually weak recruiting language.

Why?

Problem #1: It’s Just an Opinion

The athlete is evaluating themselves.

Coaches generally do not trust athletes or parents to objectively evaluate the athlete.

Problem #2: You Can’t Prove It

You never want to include claims you can’t immediately support with evidence.

How do you prove:

• Leadership?

• Communication?

• Composure?

Especially in a first email?

Those qualities matter.

But they’re usually communicated later in the recruiting process through conversations, behavior, recommendations, and in-person evaluation.

Problem #3: Everyone Says the Same Things

Every goalkeeper says:

• “I’m a leader.”

• “I communicate well.”

• “I can play out of the back.”

That language does not separate the athlete.

It makes them sound exactly like everyone else.

Mistake #6: Including GPA in the First Email

This is one of our most contrarian recruiting opinions.

Most people believe athletes should always include GPA in the first email.

We disagree.

Here’s why.

Imagine two scenarios.

Scenario #1: GPA Included

The coach watches the film and thinks:

"This athlete is good enough."

Then they see the GPA.

Now they already have everything they need.

They can quietly monitor the athlete without responding.

Scenario #2: GPA Not Included

The coach watches the film and thinks:

"Wow. This athlete looks really good. Can we get them into school academically?"

Now the coach has a reason to respond.

They need more information.

And opening dialogue is the hardest part of recruiting.

That’s why we generally do not include GPA in the first email.

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Mistake #7: Asking for Feedback

The athlete writes:

“Based on what you see, do you feel I could be a fit for your program?”

This communicates weakness.

It subtly frames the athlete as someone seeking permission to belong.

Elite athletes don’t communicate that way.

Even if the athlete is not elite, the communication should still come from a position of confidence.

There’s another problem too:

When you ask for feedback, you’re often inviting criticism.

Feedback usually means:

"Tell me what’s wrong with me."

That’s not the frame you want in a first impression.

Especially not in the first or second interaction with a coach.

Mistake #8: Weak Calls to Action

The athlete says:

“I would also love to learn more about your recruiting process and whether you anticipate bringing in goalkeepers in the 2027 class.”

This part is actually fine conceptually.

But it should be simplified into a direct question.

For example:

“Are you actively recruiting 2027 goalkeepers?”

Simple.

Direct.

Easy to respond to.

Good recruiting emails create easy response opportunities.

Mistake #9: Meaningless Closing Statements

The ending says:

“Thank you for your time and consideration…”

“I would be happy to schedule a phone call…”

“I look forward to hearing from you…”

This is what I call “email filler.”

It sounds professional.

But it makes the email longer without increasing response rates.

If a coach wants a phone call, they’ll ask for one.

The first email should prioritize efficiency.

Mistake #10: Repeating Information in the Signature

The athlete repeats:

• Graduation year

• Position

• Team

• GPA

Even though most of that information was already stated earlier.

Again:

Redundancy creates friction.

The only things that really need to remain are:

• Name

• Phone number

• Social handles

In fact, social media handles are often more valuable than a repeated GPA or position label.

The Bigger Problem With AI Recruiting Emails

When I asked this athlete where the email came from, they said:

"ChatGPT."

And honestly, that makes sense.

Because AI is very good at writing polished language.

But recruiting emails are not won by sounding polished.

They’re won through strategic communication.

Here’s the problem:

AI learns from data on the internet.

And most recruiting advice on the internet is terrible.

A lot of it is:

• Outdated

• Generic

• Written by people with little recruiting experience

• Focused on sounding professional instead of getting responses

So AI summarizes bad information and turns it into polished bad information.

That’s why so many AI-generated recruiting emails sound impressive while still being ineffective.

And here’s another issue:

If every athlete uses AI to generate recruiting emails, then every email starts sounding the same.

There’s no differentiation.

No personality.

No strategic edge.

AI is a phenomenal tool.

We use AI constantly.

But you cannot simply type:

"Write me a recruiting email to college coaches."

And assume you’re getting an advantage.

Emailing College Coaches Is Both an Art and a Science

The athletes who get the best response rates usually are not winning through one massive advantage.

They’re stacking tiny advantages.

• Better subject lines

• Better formatting

• Better calls to action

• Better positioning

• Better timing

• Better video strategy

• Better clarity

• Less friction

Recruiting emails are ultimately about one thing:

Getting the coach to take the next step.

That’s it.

And often, the smallest details make the biggest difference.

Quick resource: Download our free 2026 Recruiting Trends Report to learn what’s changing in college recruiting and how athletes are generating more responses from coaches today.

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